ahmet

prelude

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I hate writing this fucking poem
because you're dead
because you're gone
because the father
you chose to lean on
chose to kill
his gay son

I hate writing this fucking poem
because Ibrahim
is now alone
because the father
you chose to lean on
chose to kill
his gay son

I hate writing this fucking poem
because your father
is still on the run
because the country
you chose to lean on
chose to ignore
its gay citizen

although this hate
it fills me strong
I vow to keep pressing on
because the men
you've impressed upon
choose to fight in your name
for love undeterred

real

Be real
you know how this is
you knew
from the first moment
when with
a lie you started
that this
thing was bound to end
still I
moved in unwanted
due to
need unexpected
so we
have maintained pretend
an un-
-healthy partnership
we kiss
as if mandated
we talk
about surface shit
we move
on routine endless
but sex
out of the question
I think
we need to end this
before
our friendship gets bent
so the
question to you is
are you
ready to be real?

unrealized

it's been a while since
I've unleashed the heat inside
let the fire burn
relentless between your thighs
alone I fantasize
release the tensions that arise
while with you I live a lie
domestic bliss unrealized

drift

as I lay with you
my mind
it drifts to him
drifts to the nextime
that we
will meet again
when he will fill me
take me
so deep within
even though long term
I have
no interest in

brood

sometimes I brood
that’s just my mood
might have nothing
to do with you

most times I’m cool
play clown, play fool
while underneath
darkness speaks truth

I do not know
if I love you
the times we fuck
don’t think of you

I do not want
another tool
so here I sit
settled for you

all this I know
myself, can’t fool
so I just brood
unspoken mood



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