It's strange, this feeling that sometimes presents when I am alone. In the stillness I sense it, hope with a dash of fear, because my ego is desperately trying to hold on...
...but I'm too grown for that
ego
he is suffocating me
pressing pillow down firmly
I strike out and try to scream
but he is too strong for me
I have lived within him long
made him sing my endless song
made him change his name to wrong
made him think he was not strong
but he had to go and grow
recognize my presence know
if he does not murder me
he will be my casualty
now I lay here close to death
fighting until my last breath
knowing if he does kill me
he'll retain my memory
habit
my refusal
to take part in the illusion
you cling to
with your habitual I love you
is of benefit to us both
who have outgrown
the empty words that we both spoke
when we were emotionally broke
I choose not to cling to hope
or perpetuate the joke
so if you ask me for more dope
my answer will be (pause) nope
the last days of twenty
stroke, breathe
stroke, breathe
seed
bleeds
pick, pick, pick
scabs
make me sick
still
pick, pick, pick
prick
stroke
dick
sweet
treats
eat, eat, eat
eat sweets
eat meats
feed
gluttony
unhealthy
state of me
regret
connect
take him in
you love him
no
don't
stop
won't
think like that
not like that
old habits don't want to die
new spirit does not know why
as the twenties bid goodbye
and thirty is realized
Signed,
thirty
